Blower

After a petulant pots filter, controlling cap, lazy LAN and burnt telephone wire (my fault that one) the latest telecommunications defect is an intermittent and evasive router fault that has developed gradually over the last fortnight.

This one is also infuriatingly undetectable. The minute the phone is put down, the ADSL switches off - so the phone has to be taken off the hook to go back online. So no calls can be received while online half the time.

But the other half of the time, it all works perfectly.

They've checked the exchange and say everything is fine. Whenever the Telkom blokes come (which is twice this week) the fault mysteriously goes away. And when they've gone, it comes back again.

Hmmmm. Maybe it's the weather. Or something to do with those disappearing bees...

Capped

Spoilers: rant ahead

When I rant - it's usually about some impediment to my online activity.

Tried to open my inbox the other morning to find this message displayed 'Sorry but you have reached the limit of your broadband cap for this month - so yaa boo and sucks. However there are certain ways you can continue with your online activity - namely:

1) Blah (expensive)
2) Blah blah (more expensive)
3) Blah blah (astronomical)

For months I jaunted through the www without a thought about my cap. When the man came and fitted up the broadband many moons ago - he did discuss options. A monthly package of 2 Gigs per month for 24 hour access (download/surf-ability) seemed more than generous. That is supposed to allow for 33,000 web page views per month. I mean who on earth does that much browsing?
I even asked whether it was likely that the 2 Gig cap could be breached in a month. The man scoffed, 'No Aunty! You'd have to watch a whole feature film online to use up that cap.' Hmm sounded perfectly reasonable at the time - but I've since realised that's the equivalent of watching ONE measly 3 minute Youtube video online per day! (agghhhh)

And since the cap counters seem to have become more zealous, I avoid youtubes like the plague. If I so much as glimpse a moving image, I navigate away.

So here I am either offline or sneaking in posts on dial up until the end of the month. Unless maybe I increase my cap....


Update

(If this was in a script, it would probably result a note - 'stretches the bounds of possibility'...)
Anyway attempted to burn garden refuse this morning and the flames leapt so high that they burned through the telephone cables. So now no telephone access whatsoever - dial-up or otherwise.
Zippo, zilch oeuf.

Until those tardy Telkom men arrive - probably in around 10 days time.

Boo hoo

Offline

Broadband down for almost 36 hours now
*teeth gnashing sounds*

Can't do anything on dial up
*more teeth gnashing sounds*

Takes quarter of an hour for a page to load.
*gnash gnash gnash gnash*