Monday, February 19, 2007

Where are the stories?

The expert (who had contemplated the cosmos from observatories all over the globe) mentioned that there were now lots more stories from 'all over' and 'they were in a box somewhere.' The expert preferred stars to people. He had grown pallid and flabby from years of sedentary study.

The co-ordinators made an appointment to collect the stories. They arrived to find sheaves of stories and myths on odd shaped papers, in numerous languages, some typed up, some handwritten - in a stack that touched the ceiling. 'Oh you can't take them away', the expert said, 'that's years of research'. He pointed to the photocopier in the corner. The co-ordinators made another appointment and came back early in the morning. They were looking for moral stories - not just any old stories. The expert giggled knowingly into his telescope.

The co-ordinators shuffled and stacked and read and sorted until they grew dizzy. Finally they had a pile of stories that was not too big. Photocopying took a whole day. Then they took the stories back to the office and tried to order them.

The producers grew impatient 'Where are the stories?' they asked the writer. 'I'm waiting for them' the writer replied. The producers emailed the co-ordinators 'Where are the stories?' There was no reply.

In the office, the co-ordinators started to panic - the more they read, the more unmanageable the task became. The stories were unruly - they had no morals, they were uncontrollable - they refused to be sorted.

In the end the co-ordinators gave up and stuffed the photocopies back into boxes and hid them at the back of the stationery cupboard. One of the co-ordinators put half a ream of blank paper into an envelope. The other typed an apologetic letter.

The producers emailed the co-ordinators again, 'Where are the stories?'
'In the post' came the reply. The producers waited three days then emailed the writer; 'Do you have the stories yet?'

'Yes' she replied.


Anonymous said...

i always hated you because of how prolific you were, this is not endearing me to you now.

Pillock said...

Bind them! Bind them quickly! The co-ordinators said. But the stories would not be bound.

Far away said...

hmm anonymous hmmm

Ha P!
You know where the stories are. So do I. I'm not letting on though.