Crunching

Ooooooo nooooooooooooooooo a deadline I've been avoiding - accounts. Time to sit down and actually do them. I can't stand it. I hate numbers. And it's not just for the tax office - those online returns are a piece of cake - just click 'zero' in all the boxes and press 'send' and say a quick prayer ('next time.....')

No these accounts are for the 'powers that be' and they have their own specially designed, remote-controlled, index-linked, cross-referenced, tabulated accounting 'recon' forms. Is there anything worse in life than customised excel spread sheets with columns that add themselves up at the bottom when you don't even want them to? Why is it that each time a row of figures is added up, it gives a different answer?

And why are numbers so different from words huh? Why can't you corral numbers into interesting groups like words into sentences? Why can't they be handpicked just for the way they sound? Why must they add up?

And before you ask - yes I do have an accountant, but at the moment I'd have to pay him with cardigan buttons and I don't think he'd be too pleased. Went over budget (on re-editing) last year so have to step into his shoes - for now.

And I hate it.